Ignore Always

I just sent off an e-mail containing the elegant construction “Oh no [pronoun] di’n't!” and was stopped by the spell checker. Now, I can only imagine the cringing you are doing reading that dead, beaten horse of a catch phrase, but when I was presented with the options of “Ignore,” “Ignore All,” or “Add” I had to think for a moment. After all, I’m pretty sure that “di’n't” is the clearest way of expressing the non-word I intended, so in the future I might want my spell-checker to recognize it. On the other hand, it’s absolutely not a word so I really can’t see adding it. Therefore, I suggest a feature for those of us with grammatical neuroses — “Ignore Always.” That way, we don’t have to validate a word in any way when the spell checker runs. Of course, not using such words is unthinkable…

Anyways, the news is reporting that

Doctors, Lawyers, and Captains of Industry

As described by the Detroit News, when legendary Michigan football coach Bo Schembechler (80% winning percentage) took over a struggling Michigan team in the late 1960’s, the more difficult practices and harsher coaching style drove 20-30 players to leave the team. For Michigan fans it is well known that he had a sign made reading “Those Who Stay Will Be Champions” and that he pretty much honored that claim by winning at least a share of 13 Big Ten titles in 21 seasons. What isn’t reported often is that one of the departing players added to the first sign: “And those who leave will be doctors, lawyers and captains of industry.” I think that’s an important part of the story.

What is Your Worth?

Hot on the heels (so to speak) of Eliot Spitzer’s resignation were the discussions of exactly what $4300 gets you from an “escort.” That was the amount Spitzer allegedly paid for two and a half hours (plus an advance) on one of the at least eight occasions that can be substantiated. Before you think me too bad a person for wondering, I submit for your consideration the article that the Washington Post saw fit to assign two journalists to write: “High-Priced Call Girls’ Lips Are Sealed.” Most interesting in the article was the value placed on the conversational skills and actual abilities as an escort — supposedly on more than 40% of the occasions an escort is hired, no sexual intercourse occurs (probably 40.1%).

Certainly, this all begs the question — what are you worth in bed? This quiz tries to find out, although it has no questions to establish conversationalist credibility.

Michigan Beats Ohio State

Believe it or not, Michigan had not beaten Ohio State in football or basketball since Feb. 29, 2004 when they beat the 17-9 Buckeyes by 10 on Monday. Michigan’s record is now 8-17 thanks to three straight wins and it may be that former West Virginia coach John Beilein’s system is finally beginning to work

Presidential Politics and the Economy

No, not that economy.  Instead it is the the prostitution industry which, at least in Denver — site of the Democratic nominating convention — is expecting a lot of bangs for their bucks August 25-28.  According to San Francisco based postitute Carol Leigh, however, “It would be a lot better for the sex workers if it was the Republican convention… We get a lot more business.  I don’t know if they’re just frustrated because of the family values agenda.”

Republicans, it seems, are not the optimal convention-goer either.  Said Leigh: “Computer conventions can be lucrative.  There’s a lot of nerds that don’t get out much.”

See More Skinner

Fellow WordPress blog Ladies… has an “interesting” post on Wake Forest quarterback Riley Skinner (pictured right). While I probably shouldn’t be making fun of his mediocre decision (given his build, it’s hard to call it “poor”) to allow the picture to be taken, I think the Ladies… blog is worth pointing out. They seem to be equally dedicated to sports and leering. I’d like to think that in an alternate universe we might have started a similar blog.  Plus, I really don’t like Wake Forest.

How to Think: Politics Edition

One of my favorite blogs is Ironic Sans, and it’s listed in our blogroll. This week, he’s posted a look at campaign ads and strategies from the viewpoint of the pre-war propaganda scare of the late 1930s. It’s quite eye-opening. Also, for your funny bone, from craigslist: the candidates as “Star Wars” characters.

LSU 38, OSU 24 — It Could Be Worse

I had pretty much managed to avoid commenting on bowl season, whether it was Michigan saving face or Ohio State again falling on their’s in the national championship game. However, I find the controversy around a picture and caption (image at the right) that appeared on the sports page of Ohio State’s student newspaper to be sadly amusing. Apparently, by merely pointing out that the response of fans, certain sports writers, and the president of the University of Georgia, are perhaps disproportionate to a two touchdown loss, The Lantern crossed a line. Their poor editor has a reasonable response, but it’s clear from the comments that comparing things is still too much for some people. If they the statement “It could be worse” was in anyway false, maybe I could see everyone’s point. But for people to get worked up over trying to maintain perspective, albeit sardonically, I think is just sad.

I am somehow reminded of the trouble I got into making sentences for our spelling words in the third grade. Given the word “wouldn’t,” I chose “I wouldn’t strip off my clothes, run through the halls, and do a dance on the principal’s desk.” Apparently this required a meeting with my parents. The really sad part was that a few weeks later my parents were called in because my sentences lacked effort.

Is Our Children Learning?

From the New York Times:

Corpse Wheeled to Check-Cashing Store Leads to 2 Arrests

 Two men were arrested on Tuesday after pushing a corpse, seated in an office chair, along the sidewalk to a check-cashing store to cash the dead man’s Social Security check.

Clearly movies are educational after all.  If these guys had only been fortunate enough to see Weekend at Bernie’s, or it’s sequel (which is currently earning 3.6/10 stars on IMDB) they could’ve avoided possible fraud charges.

My favorite part of the article is the detailed description of how the corpse was dressed:
The late Mr. Cintron was dressed in a faded black T-shirt and blue-and-white sneakers. His pants were pulled up part of the way, and his midsection was covered by a jacket, the police said.

I’d like to think my roommates would at least go to the effort of putting my pants all the way on.

Ugh

Supposedly Michigan’s freshman quarterback Ryan Mallett will transfer from Michigan afterall.  I’m not in the least bit surprised that wide receivers Mario Manningham and Adrian Arrington are going pro since they will be seniors next year and already seem to be prime draft candidates, but it’s very frustrating to see a prime quarterback leave just because new coach Rich Rodriguez is known for using more mobile quarterbacks in his spread offense.  It seems to me that it takes years for most coaches to get their new systems running, and a quality drop-back passer would have had plenty of time to do well as that system was developed.  Next year may be painful.  Er… more so.  Here’s hoping that this is as accurate as the stories about Les Miles taking the Michigan head coaching job.